But, honestly, I am not that surprised. This place, coupled with nursing, has been the most emotionally stressful experience I have ever had. I don't even know how to adequately explain it, examples will have to suffice.
Example 1 - this place. This past Sunday the Penn nurses were on an Arab bus on our way to Old City to experience a Purim celebration with our professor. We were pulled over by a group of Israel Police Officers. Everyone had to produce a passport or ID (which by the way, you don't need to ride a bus). He took one man off of the bus. We waited while 3 officers searched, interrogated, and just took their precious time with this man. Eventually the man came back to the bus to get his little son. The police interrogated and stood around some more. Eventually the man told the bus driver to leave, and him and his son piled into the Police Car. Such disturbing pointless intimidation tactics. Such racism. Such hate. And all we could do was watch.
Example 2 - nursing. I saw my first death. It affected me so much more than I thought it would. Especially considering that she was not even my patient. I knew nothing about this little 4 year old girl other than her medical condition, which I will not share. I watched almost an entire resuscitation attempt. It was fine as long as we were discussing technical skills applied and the physiology of the girl's condition. Somehow 45 minutes into watching the trauma put on this tiny body it hit me, and I had to leave. 15 minutes later they called it. I get shivers just writing about it. I cried. I keep thinking about it. I know it is better, that she was in no state to live, but I was there while she died. And all I could do was watch.
2 comments:
Regarding example 1. It makes you appreciate our US Bill of Rights, which protects us from such arbitrary searches. We must fight the Bush administration's effort to scare us into giving up those rights. The racism of our immigration rhetoric is also designed to soften us up for accepting the requirement to carry "documents" on our person proving our legal status.
Example 2 - I can not even imagine the emotions you feel. And you will see more of this as a nurse. Be well.
When I was a student nurse, I worked weekends on a medical floor at the University of Iowa hospitals- I remember thinking that "coding" a patient was the most violent act I had ever witnessed close at hand and that it didn't seem like it was a kind or a respectful way to go. Perhaps that's why I work in maternity!
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